These Familiar Roads
by Lucy917
Summary: It had been forever since he walked these hills. Being gone for as long as he had, and somehow walking these green hills it never felt so better, familiar...home. WARNING: chapter 2 contains explicite sexual content
1. Default Chapter

Discrambler-I only own the ER characters in my head.  
  
Please note: I really don't know anything about Croatia. The parts where you think they'd be talking in Croatian they are.  
  
-******Means flashbacks  
  
It had been forever since he walked these hills. Being gone for as long as he had, and somehow walking these green hills it never felt so better, familiar...home. He closed his eyes for a second....  
  
*****"Daddy daddy!" Jasmine was running to him like she was everyday, a daddy's girl. He was just coming home and Jasmine had been waiting for him. To tell him some story she made up about how ponies had come to their small school today, or just something, anything about her day. She jumped up into his arms and kissed him. Luka looked at his daughter, how much he reminded him of Danijella.  
  
"Hey baby! I missed you"  
  
"Me too! Guess what! I have a blue thumb!"  
  
"A what?" and sure enough his wife came walking up to them and corrected Jasmine.  
  
"She means a green thumb, were planting a garden."  
  
Luka quickly kissed his wife on the lips and walked over to the small dug up area. There was Marcco, his three year old son, covered in dirt from head to toe, almost eating the dirt, mistaking it for chocolate. "Marcco don't eat that.." he picked up his son and kissed his dirty forehead getting a mouth full of dirt. "Ugh, thanks Marcco" he set his son down back and wiped his mouth with his sleeve.  
  
"We're going to grow peppers daddy! And corn and and...what else mommy?"  
  
"Whatever we can get the seeds for"  
  
"Oh" she starts to play paddy-cake with her younger brother. Luka put an arm around his wife pulling her close in, he kissed her forehead and stood there watching his family...*******  
  
For a second he still stood there. Trying to remember the smell of Danijella's hair...yeah like vanilla. And marcco who was always covered in dirt. He smiled remembering all the bathes he gave his son, and then right after he would run out and jump into a puddle, or a mud pile.. anything to tick off his mother. And Jasmine's smart mouth. She was smart and knew it, he thought of all the times he would scold at her for smart mouthing, she would get mad and go to her room. Run away from the problem's...just like her father. But she never stayed mad for long, and Luka couldn't stand it if she was. So in the next hour, Jasmine would be on Luka's lap telling him another made up story, or smart mouthing-again. And all those hours he spent in med school, being a intern, away from his family. His true and only love. Luka wished he could take it all back. Just have another minute with them, any of them. Just one minute. To hear Jasmine's stories. To bathe Marcco or help him make mud piles. On last second to caress Danijella's face and tell her how much he loved her, one last kiss......  
  
Luka shook his head out of his thoughts, he hated thinking like those. He loved the memory of his kids, he thought about them everyday. But, he had spent years thinking of what to say if they could come back just for second, and he couldn't anymore he was over the shock, but it still hurt so much. It was almost unbearable.  
  
"Luka? Luka?"  
  
Luka wiped his eyes and looked up, "Mama!" He smiled and walked up to his mother. And hugged her. She smelt like lamb and cookies, an odd mix but mom was always cooking.  
  
"Oh my let me take a look at you" she pulled held it face and pulled it back. "Look at you! You look just like your father did" she kissed his check and smiled at him. "It's great to see you!" Luka put on a fake smile to please his mother.  
  
"I've missed you too" he smiled and walked back into his mother's house. As he walked in he remembered everything about this house all the times he spent here...  
  
********It was their first Christmas as an official Mr. and Mrs. Kovac. He walked up behind his wife and kissed her check and touched her expanding stomach. They were married just six months ago and they were still living with his mother in the attic. Luka had a special surprise for his wife later, but he knew she was tired now so he let her rest. "Your getting big Danijella" He took a seat next to his wife and smiled.  
  
"I'm not getting big your child is getting big!" she protested. She has been cranky lately, hormonal "just pregnancy stuff" as his brother said. Luka narrowed his eyes at her. He had never seen her like this  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Good I suppose, but I feel like a house" Danijella leaned against Luka and rested her head on his shoulder, Luka rubbed her shoulders, feeling them relax. "mm that's nice" she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Luka watched her closely, not wanting to move a muscle to wake up his wife and baby.*****  
  
"Luka! I said are you hungry?" Luka looked up at his mom, he had again gotten lost in that trance again. Luka simply shook his head.  
  
"No mom I'm fine thanks, just a little tired a long flight. I think I'm going to go for a walk if that's okay"  
  
Luka's mom nodded and Luka left, began to walk these familiar roads again, feeling nothing but lonely. He sat down in a place he knew no one would find him. He wanted to go back, to that trance. It was like he was reliving it, and somehow that took away all of his loneliness...  
  
******"Luka why can't you just tell me where we are going?"  
  
Luka laughed "Because its a surprise, now come on" he was pulling at her hand and helped her into the car  
  
"No Luka, its Christmas we can't just leave our family they'll never forgive us!" he knew she was secretly happy about getting out but would never admit it.  
  
"It's okay, besides where is your sense of adventure?" he glanced over at her  
  
"Its with my flat stomach, now just please tell me!" Although she had her moments, she was very happy about the baby, they found out together, she was late and he just had a feeling.  
  
Luka looked at Dannijella. Never had she looked more beautiful, more sexy. She has this whole pregnant glow to her and the fact that she was carrying his first kid made him even more happy, he smiled and laughed again "No, now put this on" he handed her a blindfold.  
  
Danijella sighed and reluctantly put it on "I know you feel like you have to romance me but we're married you got me and that's for sure. Plus we are running low on cash and we promised each other we wouldn't get each other anything.." Danijella whined.  
  
"Shh its nothing much compared to what you got me."  
  
"I didn't get you anything" she said confused.  
  
Luka replied by touching her stomach as he pulled up to where he wanted them to be.  
  
"How am I supposed to walk I can't see a thing" she tried.  
  
"Well that means the blindfold his working" He placed the back of her knees on his right forearm and supported her back with his other arm. "  
  
Luka! No don't! What if you drop me?!" she asked worried.  
  
"I won't drop you, your not that much heavier with this baby" Luka kicked the door open and walked up stairs.  
  
"Luka" she laughed and was happy "This is weird, I have no idea where we are going"  
  
"Shh don't worry I got you" he kicked open another door and walked into their new apartment. It was all decorated and furnished. He had done that on his spare time, which had put a dent in his grades. It had a small Christmas tree in the couner which was decorating with popcorn string and an angel on top-she never liked stars always angels. He set her gently on her feet. "Okay just hang on for a second" He adjusted the lighting to be just right, he stood behind her, held her shoulders and put his head beside hers, looked at her, and took off the blindfold and waiting for her expression.  
  
Her dark eyes widened looking at everything and said softly "oh my god! luka" and then smiles and her eyes filled with tears. "Luka! When did you...? How did you..? Luka!" She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, held the back of his head and kissed him. "Luka! We can't afford this"  
  
"You know how we left before the gifts were given out? Well here they are, all of them Merry Christmas, baby"  
  
Tears were flowing out of Danijella's eyes, she was in disbelief, and just stared at her husband instead of the apartment and sighed "Your amazing....incredible. You don't have the time for this" Luka took his wife's hand and showed her around the apartment. The bathroom, the kitchen, both bedrooms, and back down to the living room. They sat on the couch and Luka took his wife in his arms as he leaned back against the arm of the couch with one leg on the floor and the other beside her. Danijella leaned on him.  
  
He put his hands on her stomach and felt his child move, "That baby is moving a lot"  
  
"Yeah, tell me about it" she winced, "Don't girls move more then boys?"  
  
Luka nodded, "You think it's a girl?!" he was excited.  
  
"Just a feeling." Danijella laid his head against his chest. They laid there for the rest of the night, Luka holding his wife and his baby. Danijella fell asleep on Luka's chest. The baby too. This was the happiest he had ever been. He was going to be a father. He glanced at the Christmas tree then back and his wife.  
  
All night he watched her sleep, "Merry Christmas Danijella, Merry Christmas baby..." he said in a whisper. He kissed his love's head then kissed his hand and touched his child........*****  
  
Luka was awaked by the feel of water....it was raining. A Croatian storm. Nothing felt so better, so new, so refreshing. He started to walk back up to his house. His mother would be worried, and he had to greet his sister and brother. It's not that he didn't enjoy them but there was nothing to say to them. They know he didn't want to be there. He thought he didn't want to be there, but for the first time in along time he didn't feel alone. They were with him....all of them.....  
  
TBC! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!  
  
Julianna-Hun, this is to you! Thanks for all the hours in Croatia RPG land! And your the best at it! Mini~what can i say to you? Well thanks for proof reading and helping with everything! To all my ER friends who put up with me! 


	2. One Man's FantasyThese Familiar Roads pa...

Authors note: I always thought it was Jamine and Marcco, maybe my spelling is off..Im not sure. But just go with the flow!  
  
Another a/n: Luka's second flash back wasn't expected to go the way it did....but it did! lol! Hope you ff-ers dont think its too terrible  
  
Tick tick tick.... the sound of rain aganist a window....  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*Knock knock*  
  
Luka groaned, "What is it Jasmine?"   
  
"Daddy it's storming!" Luka looked over at his wife, sounld asleep. He stood up and walked over to the door.  
  
"Jasmine, its a small storm it wont hurt you," he squated down in front of her and took her hands in his.   
  
"But I dont like storms daddy!"  
  
Luka sighed,"If you be quiet you can stay with me okay, but be quiet your mother hasnt been feeling well."  
  
Jasmine smiled big and ran and jumped into the bed.  
  
"Jasmine!" he whispered loudly "what did I say?"  
  
"Sorry, sorry," she layed down  
  
Luka got back into bed, trying not to disturb Danijella. She was pregnat, again; another accident. But they weren't going to tell Jasmine, not until she was second trimester. He took Jasmine in his arms. "I love you angel." Luka waited for a responce, he looked down at her; already asleep. With her head on his chest and her small arm reaching around him, Luka smiled and kissed her forehead. And fell into a dreamless sleep....  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"So Luka how long are you planning on staying here?"   
  
He looked over at his older sister...Janie. She was whitty, smart and a pain in the ass.  
  
"A few days, I missed it here," Luka responded.  
  
"Well your cousin sure missed you," Janie replied.  
  
Luka rolled his eyes, "You never even called me and told me he was sick!"  
  
"I shouldn't have to! We're still your family with all that money you get you think you can afford a trip home once a year," She was just about screaming it.  
  
Luka just rolled his eyes and grabbed another peice of bread, ignoring his sister. He learned that when he was younger when she got mad the best thing to do was to ignore her. "This is really good mom, I never have time to make Croatian food, and if I do, it never tastes like this."  
  
Luka's mom smiled and eyed Janie for a second, "Thanks, do you have the recipie?"  
  
"Yes I think I do," He smiled and continued to eat.  
  
Janie was mad at Luka for dodging her questions. She didn't have a family so she wouldn't understand what it would be like to lose them.   
  
Zarco walked back in the room. Now he had a family, a big one. His wife Brigita, and his four kids. Anica was 13. Her and Jasmine were best friends. It's only been five years. And its hard to imange that his baby girl would be a teenager. And would be wearing make-up and talking about boys. His other son Josip was 10. Jure was 8. The same age as Marko. And Tihana was 2. So, Zarco understood Luka. He understood why he didn't come home often. If it would have happened to him...he would never be able to come to here. Zarco could feel the tension in the room. "What did Janie do now?" He took a seat next to Luka.  
  
Janie eyed Zarco. They never got along well. Janie being so serious and Zarco joking contantly.  
  
"Seriously Janie, give the guy a rest. He had to fly for what 14 hours and now he has to deal with you? Don't depress the guy!"  
  
Luka laughed. And it felt great, him smiling and laughing. "Actullay Zarco is right about one thing, I am tired. Good night Janie, ma, Zarco."  
  
Luka walked to the attic room, he layed down on the twin size bed and laughed wondering how him and Danijella pregnat fit on this bed...it was close, but nice. Luka smiled and rolled over on his side. He smelt the pillow but sadly he only smelt the pillow cloth. It didn't even feel comforting, just cold and alone. And once again he closed his eyes and went to back to the place of comfort...  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Danijella has never looked more beautiful. That was for sure, her hair was up in her veil with a few peices hanging around her ears, Luka couldn't get enough of her. She was wearing her wedding dress, long, white, flowing...and roses spread all throught the bottom. She gazed at him and smiled. Luka couldn't help but smile back....there she was, HIS wife!   
  
He stood up from the bed and placed his hands on her hips and smiled into her eyes before he leaned in for a kiss. And that simple kiss had turned into much more. Her hands were running through his hair and he could feel her fingernails as they brushed agaist his scalp. His hands, which have moved from her hips were now rubbing all over her slender back.   
  
And just then it hit Luka, she was his. This exact moment he had been dreaming about since they were high school sweethearts was going to happen...tonight. As he was rubbing her back he felt a little metal clasp, the zipper. Slowly he took it with his two fingers and pulled it down. The familiar sound of a zipper had turned into much more. Still star struck, by the feeling of what was going to happen.   
  
Danijella pulled away from Luka's kiss and looked at him in the eyes as he finished the zipper. He once again grinned at her. Taking his hands on her now, bare shoulders he pulled the dress in front of her shoulders, and then watched it as it fell onto the floor. Looking up from the dress and over his wife instintaly turned him on. He leant back in for her sweet kisses. She was remoiving his tux peice by peice. And Luka was taking off her veil. Her long dark hair fell to her shoulders. And just when he thought she couldn't look more beatiful, again he proved him wrong.   
  
He tossed her hair away from her neck so he could take his turn with it. Smelling her, and kissing her hard on her neck and her shoulders was increible. His hands fell down her back and he removed the teddy as fast as he possibly could. Luka lifted Danijella off of her feet, she wrapped his legs around his waist. He layed her on the bed and his kisses from his neck were now becoming lower, and lower. He couldn't help it. She was so beautful, every single part of her he had to kiss her. His kisses were intreupted with a feeling of cloth. Her pantihose.   
  
He asked her with his eyes if he could remove them. She smiled and blushed and nodded. He took them off her perfect slender legs, slowly, enjoying every moment of this, and his mind was blown for what was about to be become. After those were off Danijella sat up, and took his boxers off and tossed them onto the floor. Luka was still too much turned on by her to say anything. He pinned her down, and removed the very last portion of clothing that was left. "This," he had desiced to himself. "is the most beatiful she has ever looked."   
  
And with those last few thoughts he spread her legs apart and kissed her, causing her to moan and squeel. She was saying over and over, "Luka, Luka!" And with those words and sounds he knew that if he didnt have her know he would die. He kissed his way up her stomach, onto her chest, on her neck and once again on those tender lips. And for the first time, they made love.  
  
*~*~*~*~  
  
Luka was awaken in a cold sweat. He sighed, he would stay in that dream forever if he could. But he couldn't, so once again these painful thoughts and dreams were pointless. Luka threw the covers off of him and stood up. He dressed into warm clothes and headed out the door. The second he was outside he could feel a cool draft as it chilled him down to his spine. He shivered, keeping his hands tight in his pockets he began to take a walk. Not o to any specfic place, and he couldn't escape any thoughts. So his mind wandered back to his home in America.  
  
Him and Abby were together for a year, it was a good year. But nothing compared to five minutes with Danijella. And Nicole, what a mistake that was. When she told him she was pregnat, to be honest he was happy. He loved kids, and loved being a father. That was the only thing she made him happy about...kids. Other than that she was just another girl. Once he found out the truth, she was.  
  
He continued to walk and he saw small snowflakes fall onto the ground. He sighed, almost feeling like he was back home in Chicago until he began to take a dirt road. He wasn't sure where it led to or why it looked so fimialr, but something told him to continue walking. So he did. His walking came to a complete stop when he saw what this road was taking him to.  
  
  
  
There in front of him layed a tall iron gate. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He stared at the gate and what layed past the gate. On top of the hill he could see the three graves. They didn't have any flowers compared to all the other graves. And they were excluded from everybody else's. Or so it seemed anyhow, that they stuck out.  
  
After standing there for a second staring at the gate and slightly glancing at the graves he turned around to walk back home. As he began to walk, shuffling his feet on the dirt road, he closed his eyes and felt another wet drop roll down his face. This wasn't a raindrop or a melted snowflake. He was crying for the first time in along time. And for some reason his feet wouldn't move.  
  
"I can't." Sighed Luka as he slowly turned his head around and the three stones stuck out at him. "No...." He looked up into the sky and knew that he couldn't move because of someone.. "No Danijella I can't!" He yelled into the now, sun rising sky as snowflakes danced around falling from the sky where his family seemed to be....without him. "I...." He gulped continued to call to his dead wife. "Danijella please I just-" He stoped suddenly when he heard the faint sound of Jasmine's laughter in his head, which only caused more tears. "Okay." he said reluctlany as his feet finally allowed him to move. He opened the gate and started to look at all the other graves, wondering if they were wives or children of some other man. Wondering how they moved on when he for sure couldn't. The graves were becoming closer. He didn't feel his feet moving, he just saw them as they appeared closer and closer. When they finally became close enough to see:  
  
Danijella Kovac Jasmine Kovac Marcco Kovac  
  
1967-1997 1990-1997 1994-1997   
  
tbc guys!! i guess you can all imange what the next flash backs are going to be about! Thanks to everyone who helped me because I do really need it.(Jules for rpging with me and helping me along in some boffing areas lol! and mini i only put you second because thats the way the alphebet goes, but thanks for spell checking and proof reading! i really owe you a big basket of brownies) Hope you liked it (or didn't like it) enough to review! 


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